Sep. 1st, 2013 | 09:29 pm
music: Cool It Down - Velvet Underground
I think I had stronger will power 5 years ago. The same shit bothered me, but I had a far stronger will to let the person fuck off. I don't have that anymore. I'm needy. And I hate it.
Apr. 17th, 2013 | 04:47 pm
mood: pissed off
music: black and blue - van halen
Once again someone took a big steaming pile of shit on my chest. This time, it was UWM. I applied for graduation in November. I recieved no message from the school saying that I didn't meet the requirements for graduation, so I figured I was all done. Fast forward six months later. On Monday I called UWM to get an explanation as to why I have yet to recieve my degree in the mail. The man I talked to said he'd get back to me. Well, today, I got the answer. The fucking incompetent morons in the college of letters and science informed me that, because they could not verify whether or not I took a foreign language class in highschool, I REPEAT, HIGHSCHOOL, they couldn't graduate me. Now, I'm sure you can understand that when I first heard that, I was torn between laughing uncontrollably and breaking something. There are many, many reasons why this infuriates me. 1) They never contacted me. 2) I sent those idiots my high school transcripts back in 2010. 3) I already have a degree in letters and science from the UW system. 4) I never would have been able to get into college to begin with if I hadn't taken a foreign language. 5) I have been sending out my resume, claiming that I have graduated, when apparently I have not. I do not like the idea that prospective employers, looking at my resume, would think I'm a liar when in reality UWM is at fault. Now, when trying to figure out what the hell is going on, the woman on the phone didn't seem too concerned with my problem. Let me tell you something bitch, I've paid thousands of dollars to you and your fucking school. I expect service. I'm the customer, the consumer. When I pays over thirty grand on something, I expect service. If this were a private buisness, I would be able to go over her head and ream out her manager. I don't know if I can do that here. Either way, I tell you this: They better get this shit straightened out real fucking quick, or they will see me far angrier than I am right now.
Mar. 31st, 2013 | 05:54 pm
music: rift - phish
Watching my father sit in his recliner for 6 straight hours is akin to watching someone die. The man does nothing. He also has the least amount of genuine interests I have ever seen in my entire life. He doesn't research things. He constantly asks me questions about Brewers and Packers when if he were really interested he'd already know.When I tell him to look it up himself, he won't. I am not here to be someone's encyclopedia. I am not a teacher. Add to that his failing hearing, which he claims isn't happening, and his consistant bodily noises, I get extraordinarily frustrated around him. Just about 10 minues ago he was upset because he had to do the dishes, the very dishes he volunteered to do so he wouldn't have to go to my sisters house. When I pointed this out to him he got upset. I know when he gets upset because he won't answer and pretend not to hear. Really, if the only thing he has to do in a day is do the dishes, for fuck sake don't complain. Not going to lie; I was trying to get him out with my mother. I can't handle seeing him be so fucking lazy, which isn't that rare of a sight. Uh oh! He's leaning forward in his chair. That's a sign that he's about to get out of it in approximately 6 minutes. I know I probably sound mean hearted but for the love of God I just want to shake some sense in him. He's a stubborn ass, really. He also may not be working this week so I'll get the pleasure of seeing him sitting in that chair when I get home from work. Yep, 6 minutes.
Feb. 25th, 2013 | 10:17 pm
music: Repent Walpurgis - Procol Harum
In retrospect, this past day is the perfect end to the book of my life up till now. Book it. Let's get better from here on out.
Feb. 25th, 2013 | 07:34 pm
music: The Changeling - The Doors
I'm pissed. I am fucking pissed. I was used as a pawn. I had my suspicions and it turns out they were all true. Last summer, my brother in law tried to set me up with a girl he works with. Cute, kind of dumb. I really liked her, but then again I hadn't had much attention from a woman in a while so I fell for it. She called it off pretty quickly. I was heartbroken, hurt, confused, etc. While I was looking for answers my mind went to places it usually goes when I'm upset. Turns out my wild imagination was correct. Today, my sister called and informed me that my brother in law, her husband and his girl have been banging. She was in tears, and I couldn't say anything to help her. I was furious, no doubt, that that asshole would break my sister's heart like that. But I was also furious that I'm pretty sure they used me as a pawn to get away with their affair. What makes me even more mad? The thought that they probably talked about it, had a few good jokes at my expense. Mark my words, somehow, some way, they will be sorry. I don't enjoy being screwed with and I don't enjoy seeing my sister screwed with as well. Their marriage is most likely over, perhaps I can help make sure she gets everything? That would be a start. On a side note, I've been thinking of songs that could represent this bumblefuck in my biomusicology playlist, but unfortunately I can't find one about an asshole brother in law using his wife's brother as a pawn to get tail. Hasn't been written yet. Maybe it should.
Feb. 19th, 2013 | 09:59 pm
music: across 110th street - bobby womack
An old friend on facebook recently posted the quote "never regret because at one point in your life it was exactly what you wanted." True words, but I can't help but think what could have been anyway. There aren't many things I regret. There are many things I've been pressured into because people have said I would regret it if I didn't. Like Prom. I tell you this, I wouldn't have regretted not going to prom. Prom sucked a fat one. But anyway, lately I've been thinking about a girl I dumped years ago. It was a split decision. I was up north and on a shit load of mushrooms. When on halluciogenics, it isn't uncommon to have a moment of clarity. I had one. So, I dumped her. Never gave a reason either. It was a dick thing to do but I was too afraid to do so. I'm honest about everything but my own feelings. I can tell someone they look like shit or that they're plan is stupid, but tell them they did something to upset me? Nope. Silence. So it was probably for the best, but still. I've been thinking about calling, but what good would that do? I'm an asshole, and a bit of a loser. Really, there is no reason for her to give me the light of day. And anyway, I had my chance last September and blew that too. I don't think I have any chances left. Perhaps fate has a different plan? We'll see what happens, but I'm not holding my breathe. Fate and I don't like each other, as it seems my fate as of late is being shit on. I don't like it and it doesn't like me. Unfortunately, I'm to big of a coward to change it.
Feb. 14th, 2013 | 10:24 pm
music: first cut is the deepest - rod stewart
Valentines Day sucks. I wish I was drunk. It's great, seeing some girl who dumped you complain on facebook that she has nobody to spend Valentines day with. B O O H O O. When I saw that I instantly became pissed off. She can eat shit. I don't like where I am personally anymore. It's such a fight to climb and I don't seem to be winning. No matter how many jobs I apply and no matter how hard I try I don't ever seem to get anywhere... and then I read that shit on facebook.. You have no idea how badly I wanted to post something extremely nasty to her. So badly! And then, of course, my brother in law, the one who was convinced we would be perfect for each other, likes it. Fuck him. It's true; I read an article about how facebook and social media makes people depressed. They're completely right. I'm completely miserable San Diego, and in need of some good luck. Something. Anything. How about helping a bro out, JC? Shit, I'm doing lent for you. How about some help?
Feb. 8th, 2013 | 08:13 pm
music: jealous guy - john lennon
I'm going to say this: spending a friday night with my parents is fucking awful. Spending two straight fridays with my parents? Please, put me out of my misery. It appears I'm playing the part of the forgotten. Friends are out doing shit with girlfriends, wifes, etc and I'm just the forgotten. You have no idea how badly I want to be drunk right now. I'm trying to watch shit on tv and they're banging shit around, distracting me. I hate having them around. Good lord do I want to move out.
Feb. 1st, 2013 | 03:46 pm
music: Hey Baby - JJ Cale
Good God I'm fucking miserable. Crabby too. It would be great to have some alone time. Nope. Don't get even a moment of it. Last weekend was up north with some good pals. Drank a shit load, got punched in the face, cross county skiied, drank some more. Good times. However, then I come home and have to contend to two people who have no fucking idea what is ever going on. I hate answering an extraordinary amount of stupid questions. So, I get testy. Very testy. Currently, all I want to do is toss on some crunchy tunes and jam some vids. Can't. Instead I get to look at an old man who's current hobby is to sit around for hours doing nothing. Now, to be fair, it's cold as fuck outside so I'm doing the same. But, if it were summer I'd be doing tons of awesome shit and he'd still be warming his fucking recliner. You may ask yourself, why the fuck doesn't this asshole just move out? Ha, well if I could I would. I'm currently applying for new jobs and haven't recieved any call backs. I must have sent in my resume to at least 50 different places now, and nothing. So yes, that is also making me testy. And now I'm getting flack because I don't like sitting at the table for dinner. Why? So i can sit silently and miserable while the tension between those two boring assholes spoil my food? Fuck that. I would rather just sit around and watch South Park. Hell, I'm not even going to eat what they're going to eat. I pretty much find the food my old man makes to be absolutely discusting . Seriously gross, and it all stems from the unflattering noises that seem to eminate from his body and an ever 5 mintue schedule. He's like the Old Faithful of flatulence. I wish I could just drown myself in booze tonight but again, can't. If I drink more than 2 beers I get looked at like I'm Hitler. Unfortunately, I also can't go out this weekend because I'm broke. I spent all my extra cash on Microsoft Office; my free demo expired so I got the pleasure to buy the fucker so I can keep sending out resumes and writing cover letters. It was the responsible thing to do, but Good lord I wish I were going out drinking this weekend. Maybe my work will win the lottery saturday? I can only wish.
Jan. 21st, 2013 | 08:51 pm
music: Repent Walpurgis - Procol Harum
I'm thinking about writing a book about my life. It may be boring as fuck, or it may be the next Great Gatsby. I must admit, after I got through a quarter of Gatsby I got extremely bored and said fuck it, bull shitted the rest of the book report. HIgh school English sucked dick. I'll compare it to Keith Richards Life, but without the extreme amount of drugs. Only some of the drugs. There will be drugs. I'm also not a guitar player, I'm not English, and I never fell out of a coconut tree. My dad isn't dead either, so I have yet to snort his ashes. This comparison isn't going where I want it to go. Fuck it. Don't care. It will be like Life. Anyway, I made this decision after jamming my Biomusicology playlist on my Ipod. It's a chronological playlist representing my life. A little depressing at parts but who's life isn't a shit storm at times? I'll be thinking about how to tackle this project while I'm on my way to Camp Deez later this week. It should be a shit show. I'm guessing there will be more beer bongs one can shake a stick at. Let's hope for a good weekend!